In the privacy of their own home, each child seems self-confident and bold, but when we are in a less familiar area, e.g. in a kindergarten or among other children, it sometimes happens that there is no trace of our determined toddler. Self-confidence is an important feature that affects many aspects of life, which is why it is so important to build it in a child from an early age. Unfortunately, school-age children increasingly struggle with low self-esteem, which translates into adult life.
A person with low self-esteem is constantly worried about whether he or she is perceived well by those around him, and blames himself excessively for every failure. Low self-esteem can even lead to depression at a very young age. A child with low self-esteem has a lot of trouble establishing contacts with peers, is unable to propose a game he or she has invented, is not very active during classes, is shy and taciturn even in a familiar environment. It succumbs to bad influences because cannot set boundaries, it is easy to make it feel bad because he feels everything so strongly.
I guess each of us wants our child to know his or her own value now and in the future. It allows us to believe in our own abilities and skills, and gives us confidence that we will meet the challenges life throws at us. Thanks to high self-esteem, we are not afraid to express our own opinion, disagree with someone else’s opinion or be assertive. When we think well of ourselves, we are simply happier. Kid with high self-esteem, can admit mistakes and accept criticism. Has freedom in expressing emotions, can talk calmly and openly about his or her achievements, easily establishes contacts, can refuse, lead the game, but also obey. Demonstrates self-confidence, creativity and courage in taking on new challenges. Someone may say that self-confidence is a character trait, but no child is born with a good opinion of himself. Upbringing has a significant impact on this.
So what is worth doing to build high self-esteem in your child?
- Set a good example – what parents say and how they behave is important, After all, a child learns a lot through imitation. When a parents don’t believe in their own abilities, the child may imitate his or her behavior in specific situations.
- Reassure the child that he or she is important, loved and special. For many parents, this is obvious, after all, they love their child more than life itself, but they must remember to talk about it often and show their feelings. On this occasion, it is worth emphasizing that everyone is unique and important, in order to instill respect for others.
- Show your child attention. Constant disregard and disregard for a child’s words or opinions will make him or her think that his or her statements are of little importance to others.
- Support your child in independence and give him or her time. Parents often help their children out of a rush or simply out of love, but every activity a child does on their own, such as getting dressed, washing their hands, setting the table, etc., is a small success for them, which makes them believe that they can do a lot.
- Pay attention to your words. Sometimes used in excess, innocent words: “Oh, you silly,” “You’re such a slouch” etc., can negatively affect a child’s self-perception.
- Don’t compare the child. Every little person develops at their own pace, has bad moments and has their own limitations. The words: “Look how polite Kasia is, how are you behaving?” or “All other children can draw nicely, but you can’t” will have the opposite effect than expected. The child will feel inferior and worthless. You should also not exaggerate in the other direction – telling a child that he or she is the best and most beautiful in everything may make him or her become arrogant.
- Allowing mistakes to be made. It’s good for the child to have a chance to draw conclusions from his own mistakes, this will allow him to accurately assess the situation in the future and show that failures are a normal thing that happens to everyone.
- Don’t transfer your own ambitions and expectations to your child. A parents must follow they child’s talents and dreams. If they forces it to do activities that it does not really like or can, the child will feel that it is letting down and that it is not enough for them.
- Allowing children to help and make their own small decisions. Let the child decide about something small (e.g. the color of the pants it will wear today or the hairstyle), it is important that it feels that its decision is important and that the parent takes it into account. However, you must not fall into the trap of giving your child too much freedom of choice, he or she is still a little person and many situations, the parent knows what is best for it (let it choose one of two pairs of pants prepared by the adult or let it choose one of two breakfast options). It is worth making the child feel needed and asked for help from a toddler makes him feel appreciated, and his small skills are worth a lot to someone. It gives a lot of confidence in own abilities.
As it turns out, we, as adults, can build excellent foundations for children’s self-confidence, which will grow over time like a building. Despite many adversities and challenges in building it, if it has good foundations, you can hope that your child’s self-esteem will never collapse.
Author of the tekst: Marcelina Paszyńska
Photos: Ula Małek, ig: @ulamalek
Source: Goroń-Fultyn P., Jak wychowywać pewnego siebie człowieka. Budowanie poczucia własnej wartości, mp.pl/pacjent/pediatria
